Monday, December 22, 2008

Christmas Goose



Two years ago I decided it would be a good idea to branch out from my usual poultry realm (I had pretty much only raised chickens up until this point) and attempt to raise some geese. So I dug out my trusty Murry McMurry hatchery catalog and went ahead and ordered 12 goslings which cost me $80. Looking back on this purchase, I'm a little surprised I went through with it; after all you can get 25 chickens for about $30. Apparently I was blinded by pastoral visions of large, beautiful, stately geese gracing my yard, leisurely munching on bugs with me in the background admiring them lovingly. Little did I know that there would be little leisure and pretty much no love in my efforts to raise these geese.

When the goslings arrived in a box at the post office I got them home and released them into my usual baby chick brooder set-up which involves a children's plastic swimming pool, a heat lamp, straw bedding and food and water. Right away I was shocked by the stupidity of these small, fluffy dinosaur-look-alike birds. The first thing they did was to launch themselves directly into their water source with the apparent aim to get as wet as possible. The chick watering device is specifically designed so that chicks can get water without getting their fluff wet, it’s a mason jar screwed onto a special cap that allows for a constant supply of water in a small trough. Anyone who has raised small birds, whether it’s chickens, ducks, geese or what-have-you knows that a wet baby bird is pretty much a dead baby bird and sure enough I lost several of these birds right away.

To combat these chronic swimmers, I added a second heat lamp to their brooder with the idea that if I couldn’t keep them dry at least I could keep them very, very warm. This stroke of genius worked for the most part and when it was time to put them in their pen/yard I emerged with six healthy goslings (yes, I started with 12).

A side note on this lost half dozen: at this point in time I was pregnant and like many pregnant women, I was somewhat emotional. I vividly remember being very distraught over the deaths of these six birds and telling my husband that I really was not a very good mother goose and had no idea how I would do with an actual human baby. As it turns out everything went fine with the actual human baby and we now have an actual human toddler.

O.K. so then I was feeling better about the whole situation because these six geese were doing well and I actually got to watch them do goose things outside. I especially enjoyed watching them splash around in their “pond” which was actually a children’s swimming pool (did I mention that children’s swimming pools are really handy?).

Unfortunately, this period of goose-bliss did not last long for me because this was about the time that they started getting nasty. I’m talking hissing menacingly, charging at me with their goofy elongated necks stretch out gnashing their goose jaws and flapping their monstrous wings at me (the flap of a goose wing still strikes fear into my heart).

Needless to say I began admiring them from afar. I devised elaborate feeding plans where I’d distract them by flinging something really delicious like leftover mac and cheese into their yard then wielding a sturdy stick, I’d run into their pen and frantically fill their food and water dishes. Believe me, filling/cleaning their pond was no picnic.

Did you know that geese have a wingspan of five to six feet? And that their wings are so strong that they could actually break your arm? Also did you know that geese have serrated bills which are capable of ripping and tearing human flesh? Good info to know for the novice goose raiser indeed.

Additionally, did you know that geese fight ruthlessly and sometimes even to the death amongst themselves? They hit each other with their wings. It sounds like a fist fight except instead of hollering like human fighters they honk in a very loud and obnoxious manner (did I mention that they honk in a loud and obnoxious manner pretty much every waking second of their lives?). As a result of their aggressive nature, I spent many a tense moment out in the goose yard breaking up fights with a snow shovel. You can imagine how unsurprised I was one day to find a goose laying out in their yard dead, the obvious loser of a particularly ruthless fight.

Not only were the geese mean to people and themselves but they also were mean to other animals, especially the chickens. In one particularly snow shovel worthy incident, a gander had the neck of one of my hens clasped in his bill while he proceeded to bash her into the ground and then flip her up so that her nearly lifeless body smacked against his back. Miraculously, this hen survived the attack, sadly another did not. At this point in my goose-raising endeavors I was pretty much convinced that I had raised some sort of devil-spawn-type strain of geese.

Even after the chicken murdering incident and all the fights, I still was interested in raising geese. I’m not exactly sure why, maybe it was the initial investment, maybe it was because of the challenges of raising the goslings or perhaps I just like to sit back (pretty far back) and enjoy their bad-assness.

My husband and I butchered two of the geese and served them for Christmas Eve dinner at our house. It was a long and sordid affair raising these geese and luckily they tasted great. We did keep one gander and one hen, perhaps we’ll get some goslings out of the deal.

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